Without Bibles in schools, there is no how-to reference book on life out there much anymore. And people are confused about what to do at times and end up standing in the wrong line.
Like, women in the infantry. Figure that. How did that happen?
Go back in time and ask any great land general… “want women soldiers in with your front line troops?”
Bet most wouldn’t know what to say, other than… “What? Whose idea is it anyway? What fading civilization would consider this?”
Well seems to me anytime you get very dumb ideas, you’re talking US Democrats… who, like one of the great philosophers of our time Dave Berry said, have demonstrated time and again the management skill of celery.
I note not incidentally that our past President is a Democrat. And I note he and his female chief advisor picked the Secretary of Defense who announced that US women will be assigned to US infantry units.
But to be fair, maybe it has to do with the following:
The average American woman weighs 166.2 pounds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That’s almost exactly as much as the average American man weighed in the early 1960s.
Well that’s all and good because US Soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan – now to include women – routinely carry between 60 and 100 pounds of gear including body armor, weapons and batteries.
Despite what all those generals of bygone days might say, I personally don’t want to have anything to do with any woman that can carry that much freight… And don’t forget that these obviously peculiar people of the female persuasion may also be dealing with PMS… and are carrying loaded guns.
Want to have some fun this Christmas?
Takes getting up early one morning.
But this is what you do, go to the busiest mall in your area before the stores open.
Parking lot’ll be almost empty, so get a parking place near one of the main entrances.
And then take a nap or read a book, or God forbid go into the mall to do your shopping when it opens. ‘bout mid-day or early afternoon get back in your car, start the engine and put it in reverse, so that the backup lights come on…
And just sit there with your foot on the brakes… as all matter of anxious drivers pile up in the arear behind you, waiting for you to back up, so that they can get your good spot. There will be horns blaring, people fighting, cussing, fist balled up… but especially the horns blaring.
Never look around, though out of pity to the horn blowers – because it is Christmas – you ought to turn off the engine and then after a few minutes as the conflagration behind you has dissipated, do it all over again.
Hey you been following the uproar over concussions in pro-football?
A player gets hit in the head, there is now “concussion protocol” in which a host of medical people paid by the team examine the player, and then an outside neurologist examines the player, and a host of people in New York review film, and if it is deemed “possible” that the player has had a hard hit to the head, he is required to go to the dressing room for x-rays and cat-scans.
Am I right about this?
Well will someone pls send that memo on “concussion protocol” to boxers and octagon fighters!
THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO DO. HIT THE OTHER GUY SO HARD HE GETS KNOCKED OUT. THAT WHAT THEIR SPORTS ARE ALL ABOUT.
I think these pugilist have mano a mano competition down to its basics.
On the other hand, pro football’s too much into collateral stuff… like Peterson switching his son, and referees demanding more and more face time involvement during games and the salaries of ass’t coaches and concession and parking issues. TV rights.
I think a lot of it is generated by the football helmet lobby. On the one hand they want to make the helmets hard enough so that they can be used effectively as blunt trauma instruments in “spearing” tackles and yet safe enough to prevent blunt trauma when “speared.”
In this paradox is profit. And news stories.
But did Ronda Rousey or that guy laid out by the Irishman last night in Vegas, get any “protocol?”
Answer is no.
Did Mohammed Ali get any “protocol” during his “rope a dope” days against belligerent behemoths hitting him hard in the head?
No he did not, but with that guy I don’t care for two reasons. One he didn’t step forward once when his name was called to answer his country’s draft to service. And two because I had given long odds early on that Sonny Liston would whip his smart ass. Sonny you might remember didn’t answer the bell for the seventh round and Ali won by a TKO. And I have hated that Muslim convert ever since.
What does it say about “concussion protocol” in the Bible? Anything the ladies in the US infantry should know?
In Shanghai last year I met a local lady and asked her if she could escort me on a city tour.
She seemed to like the idea and I asked for her mobile number, so I could call her to make arrangements.
She got excited and said: ”Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonigh.”
Wow, I’m guessing this is how Chinese women express their hospitality!
But then, My friend interpreted it for me and told me what she really said : 666136429
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He had asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots were hard to go on. When the second boot was finally in place, she had worked up quite a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet. He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, “They’re my brother’s. My Mom made me wear them.”
She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Finally that task was accomplished and she asked him, “Now, where are your mittens?”
He said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.
And finally this supposedly true story, the original purpose of this post.
Christmas of 2015 a very wealthy old widow was planning her Christmas and she decided that she only had a few more opportunities to gift her large family. She wanted to make this one meaningful, but didn’t want to go out gift buying.
So she set up at her desk, with the names and addresses of her extended family on a sheet of paper in front of her, and a stack of Christmas cards and her check book.
She wrote very handsome checks to every one, and on the cards wrote the same message… “Go out and buy your own gift. ‘Ma.”
Sealed them up and personally went to the post office to mail them.
After Christmas she was cleaning up her desk, and found the stack of checks she had not put in the envelopes.