I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit....... A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Why isn’t it the law that if you run an obituary in the paper, that you are required to put down the cause of death. I mean, loving father, supportive brother, outstanding husband and provider are all good to know, but did the guy get killed in a knife fight, or did he die of some unpronounceable disease. I’m at the point in life where I want to know this, so I can look at the orbit picture with a little more understanding.
Grooves on US coins? Dimes have 118; quarters, 119; half dollars, 150; dollar, 198; Susan B. Anthony dollar, 133. You know why? I don’t either. Maybe, like life, there is no reason why.
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably a little pissed.
I hate people that say “He’s a nice person once you get to know him.” They might as well just say “He’s a dickhead, but you’ll get used to it.”
Being popular on FACEBOOK is like sitting at the cool table in a cafeteria at a mental hospital.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Or here's another give away... someone asks if they can carry you home. That's a southern boy.
Stephen King is quoted in Reader’s Digest, one of my all-time favorite rose-tented outlet, that “Even bad guys (most of them, anyway) see themselves as good –they are the heroes of their own lives. Giving them a fair chance as characters can create some interesting shades of gray – and shades of gray are also a part of life.”
I agree, especially with the part in parenthesis “most of them, anyway.” I truly believe there are some people out there who are bad, through and through, who just need a good whipping, followed by a swift death.
Also from Stephen King: “No kid in high school feels as though they fit in. The smartest thing that I ever heard anybody … say about high school was that “if you look back upon that as the happiest time of your life, I don’t want to know you.”
And finally this from the master of the macabre… “I choose to believe in God because it makes things better. You have a meditation point, a source of strength. I don’t ask myself, “Well, does God exist, or does God not exist?” I choose to believe that God exists.”
And here’s a Ponderable… why was he called the Lone Ranger? … everywhere he went there’s Tonto.
Which reminds me of this story about Lone Ranger being out on the range all day, him and Tonto, doing good. They came riding into town, hard, and pulled up at the local saloon. Both jump off their horses and then the Lone Ranger stopped… looked back at his horse who was breathing hard and told Tonto to run around him to kick up a breeze to help the horse cool down. Tonto said something like, “Ah, shit Lone Ranger…” which prompted the Lone Ranger to give him a steely, mean look. So Tonto started trotting around the horse. Lone Ranger went inside and bellied up to the bar. A few minutes later a cow poke came in and said, “Someone left their Engine running outside.”
And finally this. Cowboy walked into a saloon wearing a paper bag shirt, a paper bag pair of pants and a paper bag hat.
That's the ponderable. Why did the cowboy dressed in paper bags get arrested?